PREPARED BY JASPER SITWELLEdit
S.H.I.E.L.D. PERSONNEL REPORT: Human Torch
Given Name: Johnny Storm
Classification: Independent Operator
Criminal Record: None
Powers: Storm can surround himself in flame, fly, and project bursts of fire.
Known History: A cosmic ray accident in geosynchronous orbit transformed Storm and his three fellow astronauts into the superhuman celebrities and self-appointed champions known as the Fantastic Four .
Observations: “What? Me, jealous of the Torch? You kidding? What’s to be jealous about? Unlike Yours Truly, constantly hounded by the cops and attacked by the Daily Bugle as a ‘menace,’ having to hide my face under a full-body stocking it’s pretty obvious I sewed myself, Johnny Storm’s handsome blonde surfer mug is plastered over every billboard in town, he owns a fleet of race cars and goes on a date with a different pop star or supermodel every night.
“What’s to be jealous of?
I hate the guy!” — Spider-Man