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Deadpool Icon 1 Deadpool Articles and Topics:


Recruited MessageEdit

Deadpool Dialogue 1

DEADPOOL


What a bargain right? I mean way better than Wolverine! That guy's a waste of 90 Command Points.

Who needs claws when you have pouches?!

Deadpool Icon Large 1

When PVP Tournament IntroducedEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Hey player, Deadpool here. Bet ya never thought I'd show up in this game. Well, I did and you can take my cute and cuddly self home.

All you have to do is click the PvP button and fight for my love with a bunch of other players.
You want 'MORE INFO'? I'm flattered, you must like me. That was a haiku.
I like beaches, puppies and getting caught in the rain.
I promise I come with swords and guns! I want to grow up to be a dragon, and I see dead people. Well, I make dead people. But I usually see them after.
Press the Action Button to continue! Wait, wrong game.



Covert Task: One Size Fits AllEdit

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StartEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Hey Agent, Deadpool here. So check this out, I got you this totally sweet new armor. It's all shiny and bullet-stoppy and it will totally flatter your figure.

But here's the thing: I need you to go on a quest for me before I give it to you. You love quests, doncha? It's why you play this game, right? Yeah, you frickin' live for quests! I thought so. I've got some really killer prank call material, but our heroic friends are always ignoring my calls. You know what they can't ignore? Distress Calls! It's like their job to answer those things. So, go out and collect a few for me, and the armor is yours. What a deal, right?



CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Hey great! You're back! Coming right up, one set of snazzy-pants armor, as promised. Here, I'll help zip you up... there we go.


S2, Ch. 1: Mission 6 - To Catch a ThiefEdit

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Heroic BattleEdit

StartEdit

Cable:
Cable Icon 1
Too much A.I.M. activity around here. Seems like we ought to keep A.I.M. out of the park. Know what I mean?


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I think your problem is this is all like work to you. Lighten up. We get to kill people, zillions and zillions of people, utterly without consequence because we're make-believe? HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT?


The cyborg and the nut who thinks he's in a comic book. S.H.I.E.L.D. is scraping the bottom of the barrel now. X-Ray:
X-Ray Icon


Tell me about it. Okay, cyborg and crazy man. You think you had problems with A.I.M. before? They're about to get worse. Vapor:
Vapor Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
She threatened me. She called me crazy. <sigh> I think I'm in love.


LoseEdit

Cable:
Cable Icon 1
You're still on fire, we're both more radioactive than a Chernobyl daisy, and I've got pieces of you stuck in me from that last explosion.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Yep-per. I think that went well.


Cable:
Cable Icon 1
It went well. All right. Why?


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Because it means we get to kill them again! Don't you understand anything? What the hell will we do when all the fights are over? Who's going to read about us then?

God, Cable. You're so dumb sometimes. Hey. You with the mouse. Isn't he dumb sometimes?



CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I was wrong. That wasn't love. Just a passing infatuation. True love only happens in fairy tales, and this is a comic book, not a fairy tale.


Cable:
Cable Icon 1
Thought you said it was a video game.


Deadpool:
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Whatever. What's the difference? I also said you should lighten up, but there you are, still all serious and gravely responsible. Man, I get sick of that.

Can't anybody have any fun around here?



Cable:
Cable Icon 1
Fury, there are a number of items your research teams might find interesting here. Coulson in particular.


Agent Coulson:
Agent Coulson Dialogue
Roger that, Cable. Thanks for the heads-up.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Coulson! You're alive! Don't you want revenge on Loki? I sure would.


S2, Ch. 2: Mission 4 - The StingEdit

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Heroic BattleEdit

StartEdit

Wolverine:
Wolverine Icon 1
HYDRA. I hate these guys.


W-wait! Please don’t kill me, I'm on break! I'm just getting some coffee! Bob:
Hydra Soldier Icon


Wolverine:
Wolverine Icon 1
Uh huh. Time to take out the trash.


No, please! My health insurance doesn’t kick in for another three weeks! Oh, if only Deadpool were here! Bob:
Hydra Soldier Icon


Wolverine:
Wolverine Icon 1
... Huh? You know Deadpool?


Y-yeah, he’s my best friend! Here, let me just call him! He’ll explain everything! Bob:
Hydra Soldier Icon


Wolverine:
Wolverine Icon 1
Bub, you’re nuttier than a pecan log. But if you wanna hold still while I do this, that’s fine by-


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Bob! I got your call while I was picking up some tacos and I thought I’d just... oh hey, Wolvie, how’s the back hair hangin’?


Wolverine:
Wolverine Icon 1
Wait, he’s telling the truth? You’re FRIENDS with this HYDRA goon?!


Deadpool, you have to help me! He’s going to kill me! Bob:
Hydra Soldier Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
What?! Nobody gets to kill my friends except me, Logan! Bob challenges you to a duel!


Yeah! ... wait, what? Bob:
Hydra Soldier Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Don’t worry, Bob, I’ll help you out! You’ll do great! It’ll build character! We’ll make a Robert out of you yet!


RepeatEdit

Wolverine:
Wolverine Icon 1
Not pulling any punches this time, Wilson. You start aiding the enemy, you become the enemy.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Don’t worry, Bob. I’ve been trying forever to get the devs to add you to the game, I’m not about to let you die now.


Please let me run away. Bob:
Hydra Soldier Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Don’t let him scare you! He’s just an angry old man in a silly suit! You’ve got this!


LoseEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
See Bob? I told you it wouldn’t be so bad!


... I’m alive. I’m alive! I am BOB TRIUMPHANT! Bob:
Hydra Soldier Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Here, have a taco. You've earned it.


CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
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Haha, wow, we sure got thrashed, eh Bob?

... Bob? ... Oh poop. I keep forgetting other people don’t have a healing factor.



Wolverine:
Wolverine Icon 1
You’re lucky I’m feeling generous, or I’d do you the same, you lunatic.

Now I get to march your sorry butt to the Helicarrier. Fury’s gonna love this.



S2, Ch. 4: Mission 2 - Heated NegotiationsEdit

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DeployEdit

Screen TextEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Agent! Send me on this deploy! I don't even know what it is, but it's my turn, right?


StartEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Reporting for duty, Big Cheese of S.H.I.E.L.D..


Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
We didn't--


Deadpool:
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Right! You need A.I.M. terrorists terrorized, I'm your guy. Point me at 'em!


CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
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Now do I get to fight the Hulk? He's the boss in this mission, right? God, I love this game.

Wait... it's Red Hulk? And he's on our side? Oh, man, I read the forum guide all wrong. What do I do now?



S2, Ch. 6: Mission 6 - Fourth WallEdit

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Mission StartEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Hey, Agent Whatsyourname. You and me need to talk. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s about to tell you all about how I'm a loose cannon and they need to...

Oh. Shhh shh shh. They're here.



Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
The Kingpin is attempting a takeover of the Maggia.

A unified underworld is more than a gambling racket. Their smuggling network, for one thing, is a prime conduit for black-market Iso-8.



Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
That alone is enough reason to keep the pressure on Kingpin and stop him from consolidating control.


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
Also, we need to keep Deadpool busy. He's getting antsy, and when he gets antsy, he does things...


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
See? Told you.


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
... I was about to say things that he regrets. But I don't think he knows what regret is.


Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
Things we regret, is what you meant.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Not true. I spread my regrets around for everyone. I am so generous with regrets that I don't keep any for myself.


MiniBoss - Madame MasqueEdit

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RevealEdit

Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
Madame Masque has taken charge of a Maggia cell here, Agent. We're not sure whether she's operating under the Kingpin or not.


Permit me to clarify. Kingpin:
Kingpin Dialogue


Agent Coulson:
Agent Coulson Dialogue
Security breach in bridge comm systems.


You will find that a number of my new subordinates have been alerted to your operations, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. I will be delegating responsibility for the Maggia response to my generals in the field. Kingpin:
Kingpin Dialogue


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Coward!


Executive. Kingpin:
Kingpin Dialogue


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
That's what I said!


Agent Coulson:
Agent Coulson Dialogue
Tracking his... nope. Lost it. We'll find out where he is soon enough.


StartEdit

Organized crime is modernizing, going multinational, and S.H.I.E.L.D. sends out a lunatic. Madame Masque:
Madame Masque Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
It's the creative approach. There was a seminar about it.

Get what I'm doing there, Agent? Ha! Like I'd ever sit through a seminar.



Gentlemen, remove this distraction. Madame Masque:
Madame Masque Icon


RepeatEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Can we do the entrance again? The angle was all wrong, and my costume, jeez, looked like I had a sock on my head.


LoseEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I didn't really lose. Only problem is that I couldn't see and all the blood fell out of my body. But I totally won. You told her that, right?


CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Can I take her mask off? Pretty please, with birdseed on it?


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
No.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
What if I do? You gonna stop me?


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
Wade, you of all people should know why someone would want to keep their face hidden.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Ouch. Okay, okay. Party pooper.


MiniBoss - Boomerang Edit

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RevealEdit

Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
Boomerang just mowed down a group of Maggia soldiers here.


Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
They must not be on board with the new management. Deadpool?


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I thought you'd never ask!


Agent Coulson:
Agent Coulson Dialogue
We've also learned that the Circle of 8 killed Almighty Dollar at this location. The Maggia could be trying to control his leftover assets.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Aw man! That's a shame. We could've used him to buy more Command Points.


StartEdit

Fury send you a crack a fruity and bring me in? Boomerang:
Boomerang Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Crack a fruity? I love that! I'm gonna be Australian from here on out.

G'day, cobber -- gack! Okay, tough guy. Fair dinkum! You get the one stabarang through the heart free, but now we're gonna fight. I mean, barney!


RepeatEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
We're gonna go round again, and once you kark it she'll be apples!


CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I feel strongly that you didn't congratulate me enough for not killing him.

Resentment is choking off the delicate flowers of my innate good nature.



Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
Give it a rest.


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
Well done, Deadpool. Admirable restraint. Go on and resume cutting a swath through the Maggia.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
That wasn't sincere. You'll miss me when I'm gone.


Boss - LizardEdit

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RevealEdit

Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
We're getting the streets of the Kitchen back under control. Now it's time to go after the Kingpin himself.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
It sounds so dramatic when you say it.


I do detest being the bearer of bad news, but I will not be available for appointments today. Instead perhaps you could meet my colleague, Dr. Curtis Connors. Kingpin:
Kingpin Dialogue


Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
The Lizard... ?


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
THE LIZARD!? Awe. Some. He regenerates! So I can hack pieces off him, and it's okay because they'll grow back! Where is he?


StartEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
The big show. The man in pinstripes. This is the kind of fight that makes the wholesale massacre of underlings totally worthwhile.

Now let's just hope the devs don't nerf me to death before the fight begins. If only I had my favorite pal (next to Bob) with me. Oh, Spider-Mannnnn, where aaarrrreee yyooouuuu... ?



S.H.I.E.L.D.'s standards are slipping. Kingpin:
Kingpin Dialogue


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Blamity blam blam, pinstriped sniveler! Fink!


One does, occasionally, wish for the quieter breed of assassin. Kingpin:
Kingpin Dialogue


Thisss is my show now, Fisssk. Kibitz all you want, but I'm going to take care of businessss. Lizard:
Lizard Icon


RepeatEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Thought I'd stop by again and see if you'd polished up your villain monologues.

Come on, I hate starting a fight without a monologue.



CompleteEdit

Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
Deadpool just jumped from the Fisk tower with a... I guess you could say it's a makeshift parachute.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Would you trust any elevator maintained by a corrupt crime boss? Not when you've got trophy pants!


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
I never know what he hell he's talking about.


Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
It's okay. Usually he doesn't either.


Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
Can we cut the noise and get an operational report?


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Hey wait! I wanna fight the Epic Boss!


Epic Boss - SavinEdit

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RevealEdit

Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
Savin. And here I had my money on Grim Reaper. Or even Count Nefaria. Been a while since we saw him.


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
He must want out of the corporate world. If he can set himself up in the Maggia, no more nine-to-five, that's for sure.


I have set a challenge for you, S.H.I.E.L.D.. This is a new age for the Maggia, with a new focus on recruiting top talent. Can you keep up? Kingpin:
Kingpin Dialogue


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I can hear it coming...


Agent Coulson:
Agent Coulson Dialogue
He's got top talent, we've got Deadpool. Rolling the dice here...


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Okay, Agent Sparky. I'll show you talent.


StartEdit

You're pretty good at killing, I hear. Problem is, I'm not so good at dying. Savin:
Savin Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I can help with that! If there's one thing I'm good at, it's helping people get better at dying. Service is what I'm all about, Extremis Boy.


We'll find out how good you are, if you ever shut up long enough to fight. Savin:
Savin Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I could have Extremis nanobug-whatevers. They'd be right at home in this Apollonian temple of a body. Gimme some.


Come and get them. Savin:
Savin Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I SAID GIMME SOME!


RepeatEdit

So tell me. What can I learn from Weapon X? Other than how to turn into a lunatic who sometimes doesn't know what country he's in. Savin:
Savin Icon


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Don't make fun of Weapon X. Or of my healing factor. Or of my costume. Those are rules.


CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Ahh, that was fun. Time to pack up my health bar and hit the road!


Tony Stark:
Tony Stark Dialogue
Well, if the Kingpin was counting his money before, he'll be adding up casualty figures now.


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Man, there's a lot of these little green and red boxes these days. Good thing I have so many pouches!


Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
We are going to have to be very careful how we use him.


Agent Coulson:
Agent Coulson Dialogue
With all due respect, that may be the understatement of the decade.


Spec Ops 6: Mission 3 - Cosmic ForcesEdit

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DeployEdit

StartEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Agent...ah, never mind. You. The one with the mouse. Did you buy me or win me? Just curious.

If I go do this mission for you, you gotta promise me something. Send me on a mission with Wanda. A Team-Up! Pleeeeeaase. I want to team her up real bad. That's just between you and me. Also, hey, tell the developers that they better saddle up and build Bob, Agent of HYDRA. I mean it. I'm lonely.



CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Now that's over with, how about we trade places? You go on balls-out crazy ninja missions and I'll kick back and drink your coffee and pretend I'm not playing Alliance when the boss walks by. Sound good? Sweet.


Spec Ops 8: Mission 3 - Ultron-ViolenceEdit

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DeployEdit

StartEdit

Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
Deadpool, we need you to-


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I accept! I'm honored, truly.


Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
... Wait, I haven't even-


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
-told me about making me Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., I know, but I thought I'd save you all your usual boring, gritty dialogue and just say yes!


Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
What in the world are you-


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
-going to get you for your retirement party? A nice set of vibranium golf clubs. Or maybe a gold eyepatch. Should impress all those lonely widows at the old folks home, am I right?


Nick Fury:
Nick Fury Dialogue
You know what? Just stand right here and don't move while I-


Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
-go get me the keys to the helicarrier? Sweet!

... Hey is that an army of deadly, razor-limbed robots coming this way, or some kind of flash mob thing?



CompleteEdit

Maria Hill:
Maria Hill Dialogue
We have the androids contained, Agent. Deadpool was able to delay them long enough for backup to arrive.

Unfortunately, he survived.



Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Hoo-whee! That sure did exercise the ol' healing factor. Think I left a few Wades worth of severed limbs on the street.

Maria, be a doll and get a cleanup crew down there. And throw out all that World War II crap Nick left in my new office!



Spec Ops 17: Mission 2 - Arms RaceEdit

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DeployEdit

Screen TextEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Deadpool here. I nominate myself to go catch a White Gorilla because they're rare and endangered and we should learn more about them.


StartEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
Agent, these White Gorillas are almost extinct. Since I am a well-known savior of the ecology, I think we oughta go capture one and see if it'll breed in---

What? Oh. Well, can I capture one anyway? Screw it. Here I go.



CompleteEdit

Deadpool:
Deadpool Icon 1
I brought one. I think I'm going to name him "Teddy".



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